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A New Perspective: Men and women's thoughts on "guy's night out"

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It's something many men like doing - having that "guys night out". So, what do women think about it and is the relationship with the "bros" important for other relationships in a man's life?

It's something many men like doing - having that "guys night out".

So, what do women think about it and is the relationship with the "bros" important for other relationships in a man's life?

The couples we spoke with said having a guy’s night out is never really an argument for them.

“Guys night out is basically some nights I want to hang out with my friends and some nights I think it's important for her to hang out with her friends as well,” said Ryan Mylenek, Married Since June, Muskegon.

“Usually it's the same group of friends,” said Phillip Elliott, Married 20 years, Jackson. “I walk down the lake. We all live on the lake so just walk a couple houses down.”

Phillip and Ryan both say their wives are for them spending time with the guys.

"It's not a big deal to me,” said Rhonda Elliott, Married 20 years, Jackson. “I like the alone time. I like to get out my book I just bought or I can work on a project. Or even if I have work from work to do that I can sit down with my computer and that's OK.”

7 & 4’s Courtney Curtis: “Does the alone time make you appreciate your time together more?”

Rhonda: “Yeah I think so.”

Marriage and Family Psychologist doctor Gary Vann says, whether you're a couple who has kids or it's just you two, he says it's okay for couples have a break from one another every once in a while.

"So sometimes it's girls night out and the guy stays home and he does the baths and the bedtime routine and that's a balance,” said Gary Vann, PhD, Marriage & Family Psychologist. “And then the other night it's a guy’s night and she does all those kinds of things. It's where we get into problems, Courtney, when there's too much of the person just kind of taking advantage of it.”

Doctor Vann says there has to be balance and if a partner is going out four or five nights a week with the guys, or the girls, it can make the other person feel used.

"Understand how the feelings are with the other person,” said Dr. Vann. “If they're feeling put upon or they're feeling taken advantage of or used and rather than stuff those feelings and get depressed with all of that and angry… express their feelings to the spouse how they really feel about that."

And Doctor Vann says time out with the guys can actually help richen a marriage.

"If it's just the two of you, you can get, that's all that really is - is that dynamic interaction just between the two of you,” said Dr. Vann. “Whether it's children, grandchildren, friends, coworkers, it adds to the marriage to be able to have a variety of different relationships. So that it brings some variety into the marriage."

"I think it's important” said Ryan. “I think there's things that she doesn't necessarily enjoy that my buddies enjoy."

"I think it's a good balance,” said Ally Mylenek, Married Since June, Muskegon. “Like he said, I absolutely hate talking about vehicles and cars and sometimes it's nice for him to just kind of get all of that out of his system with all the guys and so I don't have to listen to it (laughing)"

And Doctor Vann says men and women tend to think from different parts of their brain and usually have different kinds of relationships than the other gender.

"Getting more of a blend so that the men are not just talking about the mundane non-emotional things and being able to talk about their feelings with other men is rare,” said Dr. Vann. “But it's doable if the guys, the person has a friend they can really relate to and trust."

And Rhonda and Phillip say even though they do have girls night and guys night, they really enjoy doing most things together.”

"But like this, we do a lot of things together,” said Rhonda. “You know, we sit down and eat almost every dinner together whether it's at 9:30 at night or at 5:00. We still sit down and eat. So it's not a big deal."

And Dr. Vann says he doesn't see a lot of people come into his office to work through issues like this in particular.

However, if a spouse isn't allowing their husband or wife to have that time with others… he says there could be deeper issues underneath it.

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