The other day I talked about sabotage and how it seems like it is all around us. If you missed it, you can check out my article here Basically I talked about how there is temptation all around us. When we are trying to kick a bad habit or get healthy, it seems like everyone, even those close to you, are out to ??get you??. And, even you can sabotage yourself.
Wednesdays are my official ??weigh in?? days. This past Wednesday when I attended my Weight Watchers meeting, I knew I hadn??t done that well for the week. I didn??t get to the gym as much as normal, my water intake was down and I hadn??t been as stringent on my food choices as normal. The thing that made it worse was it wasn??t as if I chowed down on a cheesecake or anything, I just grazed on healthy food even more than normal. Anyway, I figured I probably gained and I was right. I was heartbroken, even though I knew I hadn??t worked hard enough this last week ?? borderline crushed, even. When I looked at the scale what did I see?
I gained one pound.
You read that right, one pound.
I know, I know ?? it could have been anything ?? chemical issues, maybe I didn??t pee before getting weighed, perhaps my clothes weighed a little more, whatever. But, it was there. One pound gained.
So, I did what any reasonable person would do in the same situation.
I ate emotionally the rest of the day.
Oh yes I did. There was some cookie dough in the freezer ?? I grabbed two. There were some leftover chips from Thanksgiving ?? I grazed on those a bit. Some leftover sweet potato casserole from the previous night? Bring it. I snacked on it all. And then when I wasn??t hungry anymore? I popped a bowl of popcorn. Now, before anyone thinks I was eating full blow meals all day, I wasn??t. I ate good food for lunch and dinner, but I just ??added?? a few more options the rest of the day.
All this? Over one pound. A POUND.
I sabotaged myself. Again and again that day over a stupid pound.
And, the number isn??t really relevant ?? it could be one, it could have been five or more. The point is, I took that as a failure so I fed into it ?? literally!
Why are we so unkind to ourselves? Didn??t I begin this journey ?? over a year ago when I quit smoking ?? because I was making positive changes for me? Then why would I take a small hiccup in the journey and treat it, and myself like it was the worst thing I could do?
I think the answer lies behind what causes us to become an addict in the first place. We do it because we are trying to find something to make us happy, something to hide the hurt that we are feeling rather than facing the issue head on and processing it in an emotionally healthy way.